Lost in Translation Stories

I was thinking (I know, shocking) this morning about things that make me laugh. Most are only funny to me and whoever shared the moment. They somehow get lost in translation. That being said, I'm going to share a few of my stories that always make me laugh out loud when I think of them.

Story #1
When Ashlee was in 2nd or 3rd grade, she had to do a report on a biography she read. She also had to dress like the person. She chose Laura Ingalls Wilder.
My sister: "Ashlee, who are you going to write about?"
Ashlee: Laura Ingalls Wilder (which Ashlee pronounced "Willder".)
Me: "It's Laura Ingalls Wile-der."
Ashlee: "Whatever."
For some reason, this just made my sister and me laugh and laugh. Well, it really doesn't take much for us to break down. This is a running family joke now. Still irritates Ashlee. Sorry for sharing this one, Ash! Good times.

Story #2
When I taught pre-school with my sister, we always received tons of Christmas presents. It was almost embarrassing, but what can I say, we were popular! We always had more presents than anyone. Maybe we always ended up with the wealthiest parents, I don't know. I do know we were always kidded about the amount of giftage we received.One year our music teacher got a shopping cart and parked in front of our room before we got there and she had put a big sign on it that said "For Pam and Vickie's Christmas Presents." It was so funny, like I said, it gets lost in the translation. This was just to poke fun at us and was removed before any parents saw it. Good times.

Story #3
A few years ago, my sister in law needed to attend a funeral in St. Charles, MO, but didn't want to go by herself, so I went with her. It's a long drive back, so we stopped in Joplin to get something to drink. We go in and I'm looking at the choices and I smell something. Now, anyone who knows me, knows I have a strong sense of smell and a huge gag reflex. Just know it was a BAD smell. I quickly made my choice, paid and got out of that gas station. My sister in law (SIL)was still inside, unaware of the impending assault on her nasal passages. The smell happened to belong to a person we refer to as "Stinky Pete." He was so dirty and smelly. Honestly, I have NEVER smelled a body odor like this. He had stringy, greasy hair and his jeans looked shiny, they were so covered with sweat, dirt, whatever. I had made a clean get away. It was every man for himself. Poor SIL. She was trapped in the store with that odor. While she was paying, the girl couldn't get the correct change (I think she was paralyzed by the odor), and SIL was caught between the counter and Stinky Pete. When she finally made it out of the store, SIL couldn't believe I hadn't warned her. Then here comes Stinky Pete out of the store and he has two friends waiting for him in a pickup truck. We came to the conclusion that they must stink too or they had no sense of smell left. So on the way home we started talking about stinky things, like dead skunk smells, and how bad they are, but not as bad as Stinky Pete. Then we started making up horrible, awful stinky stories, but nothing compared to Stinky Pete. So now when we smell something bad, sometimes we follow up with the question,"Stinky Pete bad?" The answer is always no, not Stinky Pete bad. Good times.

Story #4
Six of us girls went to California to see "The Price is Right." We had to make a connecting flight and didn't have a lot of time, but enough to get a cup of coffee from Starbucks. While I was doing this, Janice and Mary saw Henry Winkler (the Fonz from Happy Days). First of all, I was amazed that Mary knew who he was. Second, Janice went up and talked to him and had to have an autograph. He was very pleasant and gave her an autograph and chatted with her. When we boarded the plane, we were all talking about it and someone asked her what he signed. She had him sign her A.A.R.P. card because she knew she wouldn't lose it. We were all so tired and hungry that this seemed hilarious to us. That and the fact that Henry Winkler actually signed it. Funny.
When we finally arrived in LA and got situated in our hotel, we were all exhausted and hungry. We went to this nice place that's kind of like Cheesecake Factory, but it's called the "Grand Luxe." We had to wait for I don't know how long, and we were all getting goofy. Meanwhile, Marilyn had a terrible head cold and could barely hear anything. Everything was super funny to us and we were having a great time. Since we hadn't eaten all day and it was around 8:00pm, we were all so hungry, we actually had room for dessert. We all ordered and Marilyn asked about the "duo of cheesecake" pictured on the menu, which is exactly like it sounds. Two small slices of cheesecake prepared differently. She ordered it and when it came, she got the funniest look on her face. She was looking at it and finally said something like "Why is there two?" We were all dying laughing. Poor Marilyn. Good thing she's a good sport. Again, it gets lost in translation. It's better when my sister in law tells it because she remembers details better. I just remember the fun. Good times.

Story #5
Church ski trip before Friendship was born. Having a good time. Fairly good skier. Last run of the day, last run of the trip. Going down a trail I shouldn't be on. Everyone there. Hard trail for me. Right leg goes one way, left leg goes other way. Pants stay where they are. Seam rips all the way up. Steve has to ski close behind me. Rear end hanging out. Good times.

Story #6
Steve and I have always been crazy for Kayli. She is our "faux grandchild." We loved babysitting when we had the opportunity and one time we were watching her and she was really tiny, between one and two. She loved Taco Bueno bean burritos, so naturally that's what she was going to have for dinner. We decided to eat at Taco Bueno, so into the car seat she goes and when we drove up Kayli saw the sign and in her tiny little voice says, "Oh, it's the burrito store." It was so cute. She had Steve wrapped around her tiny little finger. Still does. Good times.

Story #7
Being of the Baptist persuasion, you are brought up not dancing. So when Ashlee and Jason were planning their wedding, they wanted to have their reception somewhere they could dance because they took ballroom dancing at OU and loved it. Okay, that eliminates the church. We finally decided on Rogers State University because they would cater it and they had a pretty nice area for a deejay and dancing. Imagine our surprise when Tyler gets up and dances solo, dances with his sister, dances almost all night. Too fun and super great memory. Good times.

Story #8
A couple of years ago, my mom, Ashlee, my sister, my niece and I went to IHOP for breakfast. We all ordered and when our food came, we were all eating and Ashlee asked my sister if she would like a bite of whatever she was eating. My sister said, "No, when I wants me toast, I eats me toast. When I wants me eggs, I eats me eggs." Ashlee waits a few seconds and says, "What are you, a pirate?" My sister started laughing, I started laughing, Ashlee started laughing. My poor teenager niece was humiliated and my mom was trying to get Vick and me to straighten up. After a few minutes of laughing so hard we had tears rolling down our faces, we finally got ourselves under control. We still couldn't make eye contact - too dangerous. It was pretty quiet at our table and my mom starts to take a drink of her coffee, thinks about what she just witnessed, starts to laugh and almost chokes on her coffee and little spews out of her mouth. That's all it took. Vick and I were off and running and nothing could contain that mess of a breakfast. My sister still speaks "pirate" occasionally. Very good times

So there you have it, eight of my fun, gets lost in translation stories. How about you? What are some of your stories that always bring a smile or a laugh when you think about them?

Completely different subject. Here's Minnie doing her best Miss America impression. Good Luck tonight, Miss Oklahoma, Kelsey Cartwright!

Here's Opie and Preston wishing Kelsey good luck.

Last, but first in my book, my favorite Mrs. Osborn wishing Miss Oklahoma the best of luck. We are very proud of you, Kelsey.